There are times when I feel so very alone on this journey. Trying to figure out what to eat, when all around me I see advertisements for fast food or I get invited to join my friends for 'beer and wings'. Damn it! Why did I let my body get into this mess? I miss the laughter and commraderie of my friends sitting around a table with plates of nachos and wings being passed around and a nice tall pint of Guiness in front of me. I know what I need to do...but it is hard. If I were to speak to a couple of these people in private and let them in on what I am doing, they would probably support me enough to at least not pass the food in front of me...but I also know it would make others feel uncomfortable about eating in front of me...and I don't trust myself enough yet to not cave in and start munching.
Isn't it interesting that when I think about relaxing with my friends, it always seems to involve food. Come to think of it, most social interaction in our society seems to involve food. What is this obsession we seem to have with stuffing our faces with calories we really don't need?
I so much want physical freedom. I want to be able to move with ease and to have so much energy that I can easily do everything I set out to do each day. I want to be able to take long walks by the waterfront without hurting...and I want to be able to give speeches and conduct workshops without the agonizing pain in my knees.
I think it is time for a good cry.
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By the sound of it, you're doing really well and motivating the rest of us who are following your journey. Really, Dr. J, your blog has revived my goal to get healthier as well.
ReplyDeleteSometimes shedding tears is quite a relief; nonetheless, you've worked so hard to get where you're at and each step just brings you closer to your goal.
Best,
Q