March 22nd...a tough day

Ever had one of those days when nothing seemed to go right? Well that was today. I did manage to stick to the program as far as food goes but everything else seemed to totally irritate me. I missed church this morning because I couldn't get my act together in time. I didn't leave enough time to eat my proper breakfast, do my exercises, check my email, soak my toe (I had toe surgery two weeks ago and am supposed to be soaking it in salt water morning and night)and take 1/2 hour for meditation. I don't like to miss church. Then I ended up spending 8 hours in front of the computer catching up on work that I should have gotten done during the week but did't manage it. My apartment is a mess...I like a very clean home; my laundry hasn't been done; none of my friends were home today...left voice messages; and worse of all, I really, really wanted to take a long walk along the boardwalk and watch the waves wash in on this bright spring day; but I was stuck behind the computer...again!

I did manage to visit with a very special senior tonight as I do every Sunday night. She does help me to feel better and she is such a sweet soul. As I was sitting there with her over a cup of tea, I realized she was the first person I had actually spoken to all day. And then just to be a rebel, instead of coming home and cleaning my apartment, I took myself out to a movie (I Love You, Man). Now I have to get a bit of cleaning done before I can head to bed.

Okay...the worse part of all...even though this is supposed to be a journey towards health, I was really disappointed to see that I had not lost any more weight. I do feel better; my aches and pains are less; I have more energy; I feel more in control; but I do really like the side effect of weight loss. It seems that since I started adding in "real" meals, the weight loss has lessene. Okay...I know that 13.4 pounds is a lot to lose in one week. But when I saw no weight loss over the last couple of days, I did feel down and frustrated. It almost made me feel like skipping a meal...but I didn't.

I need to get away from using the scale to determine my mood. I need to focus on my health and trust my body to let go of the fat at a rate it can manage. I will contact people in my support team tomorrow and ask them for help.